It seems that the few days before you take a vacation are the most stressful of all – there are things to pack, home items to care for, laundry to do and work to manage. For work, there are lists to make, clients and deliverables to manage, meetings to reschedule and my favorite – email auto responses to set up. So in preparation for an impending getaway, I went to Google and came back with these funny email auto responder options:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 11 June. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order It was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system… You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks.
7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons… When I return, please refer to me as ‘ Margaret ‘ instead of ‘Steve’.
9. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
10. I’m sorry, I can’t reply right now. I’m not away but I’m just hiding from someone, pretending I’m away. If it’s not you I’m running away from, I’ll reply your email.
11. Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
12. I’m not in the office right now but if it’s important – tweet me using #YOUAREINTERRUPTINGMYVACATION
13. I’m going to be out of Kansas from June 11th to June 17th. If you require urgent assistance, just double click on your ruby red mouse and tell yourself there’s no place like home. Dorothy.
14. I’m out of office for the ritual slaughter of turkey and will have only occasional access to email. You have been warned.
15. And my personal favorite:
I will be out of the office from 6/11 thru 6/17 – returning to my desk on 6/21.
If you have questions about life, ask Siri.
If you have an emergency, dial 911.
If you wish to speak to an operator, press or say ‘zero’.
If you want to save a lot of money on your car insurance, contact GEICO.
If you have information which may lead to an arrest in the murder case of Jon Benet Ramsey, contact the Colorado Springs Sheriff’s Department.
If you know the whereabouts of known terrorists, contact the United States Department of Defense.
If you know who shot J.R., contact the Dallas Police Department.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, call …. The A-Team.
If the A-Team is unavailable, call Ghostbusters.